Actually, it was a cat and it was a bar, but I'm getting ahead of my story… Let me tell you about packing up and getting on the road...
First, make a list of only the items that you must have…. then scratch half of them off. Second, gather all the material on the floor in front of you, look lovingly at all, then throw half of the stuff out. Then try and pack it onto your machine…
Don't try to follow a route using the highway signs. They are either not there, are upside down, or point the wrong way. Your tax money at work. Okay, not too bad on the Interstates, but otherwise…..
Don't even think of riding at the speed limit. Today, if you're not 15 mph over the posted number, you are going to be run over…. This goes double in Pennsylvania…. There, 75 in a 55 mph zone is standard…. standard, I tell you.
Making good time…
Just remember my friend the Italian Pilot. We had been flying for a while and I asked about our location, and how we were doing…. He responded: "Mike, we're lost, but…. we are making fantastic time".
As for real time, remember that 60 mph for two hours does give you 120 miles an hour timing, BUT, if you stop for coffee &, plus fuel, for say, one-half hour, when you start off again, you're down to 90 miles for the two hours. Funny how we all know this, yet hardly ever remember it.
So, the cat says to the bartender, "Do you know the First Rule of Piaggio?" To which the barkeep says, "Can't say that I do."
"The First Rule of Piaggio", says the cat, "Is never lay your machine down on the left side." "Why the left side" says the tender.
"Because, if you do, your crankcase oil will spill onto your air filter and make a big leaky mess. So, if you really insist upon laying it down, do it on the right side."
"But, what will happen if you lay it on its right side?" says the Barman.
"Damned if I know," says the cat. "My motto is, 'One Rule at a time'".
The next day, the cat walks into a bar and asks the Bar Maid, "Do you know the Second Rule of Piaggio?" The Bar Maid takes a swipe with her rag on the bar top, says "What'll you have? And no, haven't got a clue."
"The Second Rule of Piaggio" snickers the cat, "is never, ever park your machine on an incline such that your front wheel is higher than your rear."
The Maid slaps the Guinness down and asks, "Why not?" "Because," says the feline, "Your fuel will run out of your carburetor onto your plug and your machine will not start….. until you call for a tow, get towed to a service center, remove all your gear, call for a taxi to take you to a motel, at which point, and only at that point, the mechanic will attempt to start it - (to see what he can see) - and your machine will start up and run perfectly.
The next day, a cat walked into a bar, with heavy heart and sagging shoulders and said…..